she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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