I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize