Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
