he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
