I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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