is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
