Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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