I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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