I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
