do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
