"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
