Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think pants incapable of making pants work
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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