3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
