I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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