You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
