Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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