The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
