Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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