i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
