chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
