Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize