do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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