She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We are two peas in an std pod
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
