he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
