He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
