my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
