The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
