my mouth tastes like poor choices
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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