so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hippo gnu deer
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
