I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i now understand why vodka
how drunk are you?
Several
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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