Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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