I didn't shave. On purpose
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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