brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
