Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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