Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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