Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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