There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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