Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
