Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
