She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
