so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
