I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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