Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
