I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
