wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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