If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
