I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
