At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
