I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have fence marks all over my body
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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