I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
