my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
