I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
