I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
