You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
