You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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