I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
