So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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