In the future we'll all be gay
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
