Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize