They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize