I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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