my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
