He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
